On the eve of battle Gandalf said of the silence, "It's the deep breath before the plunge." almost immediately afterward a startling fire shoots into the sky as the armies of Sauron are marching against the people of middle earth. His words resonate within me. We are about two months out from our move to Lakewood. It seems that all is quiet, all is still. My children are in anticipation of moving, but do not understand the war that we are stepping into. My amazing and supportive wife gently encourages me as so many things still have to happen, by the hand of God, for us to move. All is quiet, all are still.
Yet in the distance, in my soul, I see the armies of Satan preparing for war, beating their drums, howling hideous screams of discouragement at me. All this, and in my flesh, I cower. It's a hard thing to admit, that you are scared. That you have fear, as a man. I should have the Holy Spirit fill me like an adrenaline surge, in defiance to all those that would oppose the mighty work of God. Yet, I can't help but wonder, who am I? Who am I that I should do battle for the Lord? I'm not David, standing in defiance before the mighty Goliath. I'm not Elijah, mocking the enemies of God, with the steadfast confidence in the power of the Lord God. I am certainly not Paul, preaching before great men of power, opposing Peter to his face, ready to suffer, ready to be humiliated, stoned, and shipwrecked, all for the glory of Jesus. I feel more like Periguin Took, who says that he does not want to be in a battle. The shame of disbelief runs through my veins.
In the Bible, the number one command is, "fear not." Fear not, because He is with me. I wish that there was some sore of ruckus happening, some noise, something to distract me from this command. Fear not, Jesus tells me, for I am with you.
No Fear, the power of the Living God, is with me.
In Him,
Cam
I continue to pray for you all...I understand that fear you are living in, and know God will give you all that you need in the weeks and months to come. Newsboys song Diving In was a big encouragement to me... when you are just trusting, against all odds, and believing God has called you and He will be faithful to you.
ReplyDeleteWho are you? You are a man, a family that is saying YES to God's call. You don't need to feel qualified. You just need to be willing and by your heart and your faith you and Brittney are just that. WILLING. All of us who love you and believe in what you are doing will be here on our knees praying for you as God walks beside you each and every step of this battle.
ReplyDeleteIn Him,
Mom
There is only war in your mentality brought on by the fear of the unknown and new surroundings. Faith remains as a powerful ally to assist you along the paths least traveled. God remains an unseen army of one all protecting all knowing. God will never allow his child to be forsaken in times of trial or fear. He is our guiding light through the darkness and our bountiful glory upon the final path traveled. Second to our Lord and Savior is the wife at your side, holding you up right even in times of hardship and stress. Make her the rock you stand upon in troubled waters as she will be the hand you hold along the series of paths you walk. Your children will be the stars showing you your true self as you proceed into unknown territory for through the eys of children Gods love and mercy and understanding is shown through raw and uninhibited actions and words. Fear not that you are going against a public enemy but be enlightened in the idea that even one moment of inspiration can change someone for a lifetime. And that one man can change a person town city country and world for it was one man who enlighted millions and his demise enlightened millions more.
ReplyDeletePraise be,
Anne